I am from India and I am a converted Christian from a Hindu family. I came to the UK to pursue masters. But I am not quite happy with Christianity because of multiple faith in various churches. Many doubts, confusion raised in my heart while I am practicing it. Last Ramadaan my Muslim Pakistani friends encouraged me to fast. Alhamdulillah! it was very good and I was having good peace of mind while practicing it. So, I left Christianity and I started to read more about Islam and I started to explore the Quran and I found its good with one faith and one Allah. I decided to convert to a Muslim on December 2016. In the meanwhile, one of good Muslim friend (British Pakistani) who helped me to know more about Islam proposed to me and she wanted to marry her. She said, 'I am quite impressed the way you learning the things in less time and you practicing it. So will you marry me?' She invited on dinner twice into her family. She said in her family (Pakistani) after four months about me, I spoke to them and I said yes, I want to marry their daughter. Unfortunately, they said no saying 'we got families here and you are from India. I can't take the things if they question me' Later, they put the girl at home took her phone, shouted at home every day, emotionally blackmail her saying, 'the relatives will humiliate us and much more'. They are even ready to slap her and about to stop her uni when she said No, dad I want to marry him and I can be happy with him'. She was asking me to kill her saying' Please, kill I can't take this pain' My question here is why do the parents don't accept the will of their daughter though I will be converting on Dec 2016? Is it allowed in Islam to behave with a child like this if she doesn't listen to them? Are the parents concerned more about the happiness of daughter or the relatives? My parents are very generous and they accepted our love. We are sincere and since we just don't want to commit any sins in our relationship so we said clearly and openly to them. And now they behave this, we respected them and they treat us like this. What would be your suggestion that you can give so that I can convince in their family?
[Name Withheld for Privacy]
I read your message some time ago, and I prayed on it twice. The second time I prayed on it, I found tears coming down my cheeks. All I can tell you is that once you have become a Muslim, you are entitled to be treated as one. I have no excuses for the behavior of the parents of your loved one. In Islam, a woman is entitled to choose her husband, and since she has chosen you as a Muslim, her parents should honor and respect her wishes even if they are convinced she is committing a big mistake. For her parents to practice humiliation and to disrespect their own daughter and you, has no justification or excuse in Shari‘ah. I pray that Allah guides them and that they are able to honor and dignify their daughter as God has honored and dignified her. I pray that they respect her wishes to marry a Muslim man that she is in love with, for love is rahmah (mercy), and there is no greater gift from Allah than that. I pray for your good and hers, and I feel compelled to apologize for their mistreatment, although there is little that I can do about it. But I believe that you and your beloved should persevere in patience and ask Allah to intervene on your behalf. May Allah grant you peace, blessings, patience, and beautify your lives.
Shaykh Abou El Fadl